Don’t Dip Your Pen in the Company Ink

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Picture the scene. Feel free to incorporate a soundtrack as well if it catches your fancy. Might I suggest something by Mayday Parade or for those less inclined to my musical whims perhaps something befitting the occasion like Chariots of Fire.

There I was sitting at my desk, oddly I find standing to be a chore, wondering whether time would pass by slower if I stared at the little clock in the corner of my computer screen or if I stared at the ceiling. In case your curiosity was piqued, the ceiling in my office is surprisingly well maintained. It then dawned on me, by way of association, that I had never actually been horizontal in my office. This made me rather sad. After all one of the joys of working in a large corporate environment is the opportunity for inter-office dalliances. Perhaps because everyone is so straight-laced at work we desire to discover what lies beneath. It could be that or it could just be the fact that most people are horny and secretly believe they’ll never be caught.

If these walls could talk is often what springs to mind when I recall all of the shenanigans that have taken place at what would outwardly appear to be a creative if somewhat staid working environment. The truth is you never really know someone until you’ve witnessed the transformation that takes place after they’ve had a couple of drinks. Suddenly your boss becomes your best friend. Awkward? Well yes and no, depending on how many drinks you’ve had yourself. There’s open and honest and then there’s OPEN and HONEST. Your boss for example doesn’t need to know that you collect pantyhose in your spare time but by the same token remember everything your boss tells you. What is inappropriate now makes for great blackmail material later down the road. True story. Oh and while I have your attention. Trust no one… ever!

Sadly, or not I suppose depending on your libido and your standards, female colleagues go from being somewhat alluring to downright irresistible after a couple of tequilas. Of course you also inevitably end up discovering that make-up is a necessity for some women rather than a luxury. I just re-read that part and now I feel bad. Okay I’m better now. Right so you’ve slept with your colleague. Now what? Sure she’s cute but now it’s boring. Thank God you work together after all she’s not going to cause a scene if you tell her you want to cool it. Hmm lets review that shall we. Female, check. Emotions, check. Rational… I take it you see where I’m going with this. A woman scorned contrary to what you may think is not a friend for life. I admit men aren’t that much better when they happen to be on the receiving end of an exit wink. We may not be big on theatrics but we sure know how to hold a grudge. Is this good for overall productivity? Fuck who cares. But it sure doesn’t make for a pleasant working environment.

As my dad always said, ‘never dip your pen in the company ink.’ Of course I had no idea what he was on about and wrote it down to the fact that he was going senile. Now that I’m older I realise I was just a really slow kid…

  1. bibibapka says:

    Your dad is a wise man. Nevermind that it took you so long to realise it. Better late than never. *pats him on the head*

  2. Indiangal says:

    Hello pretty…you missed me didn’t you 😉

  3. bibibapka says:

    It’s Friday! Hooooorray!!!!! *fills vases and dusts off deck chairs*

  4. bibibapka says:

    Sooooooooooo? Does your pen remain undipped?

  5. Desire says:

    Aaaaaaaa some more familiar faces…….. glad to see you two are still at it on the blogs!

    And by “it” I mean cheerful playful banter…………….

  6. bibibapka says:

    Whaaaat? Coffee isn’t THAT fattening.
    *takes a huge bite out of doughnut*

  7. bibibapka says:

    DUDE! You need to write a new post. My hand is cramping up from all the scrolling.

  8. bibibapka says:

    *checks I1 for a pulse*

  9. bibibapka says:


  10. bibibapka says:

    I’ve lost my mojo. Have you seen it anywhere?

  11. bibibapka says:


  12. bibibapka says:

    *one woman conga line with Manilow blaring in the background*

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