YOU’RE WRONG WHEN IT’S RIGHT

Posted: February 29, 2012 in My Life
Tags: , , , , , ,

It’s frustrating when life gets in the way of a perfectly good blog post. Don’t get me wrong reality has its perks but it never quite matches my imagination.

 

Being a responsible adult, or at the very least trying to impersonate one, I have been neglecting my blog in favour of being productive instead. I have been trying to attain that sense of self-satisfaction that comes from doing an honest day’s work. Regrettably that hasn’t happened at all. Instead burning the midnight oil has made me grumpy and my consumption of mother’s milk, aka wine, has tripled. I didn’t even think that was humanly possible.

 

Needless to say when I’m grumpy my tolerance of others and my sarcasm share a direct linear relationship as demonstrated by the diagram below.

 

Oprah, not that I ever watched the show because I have a penis obviously, was of the opinion that you should always put your happiness first rather than slaving away for the ‘man’. Actually I’m not entirely sure she did say that but I’m using creative license here. Bearing that in mind I think it’s time I started focusing on the important things in life like sleeping in and clothes shopping.

 

For the past couple of days I have been obsessing over Katy Perry. Now that she’s single again I’ve realised I’m back in with a chance. I jest of course. If you’re going to date someone, you might as well make it worth your while, and date a blonde!

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Comments
  1. colonialist says:

    So, zero sarcasm still doesn’t mean you actually like anyone?

  2. Desire says:

    Aaaaa now I even understand myself a little better too!

  3. The problem with the rat race is that even if you win you still a rat!

  4. Desire says:

    Ehem….. hello?

  5. Bella says:

    I say you take out a patent on the Grumpy chart! I love it! And stop letting your penis prevent you from watching Oprah. Although scratch that. Her show’s no longer on the air, I think. Don’t want to give you misguided instructions here and lead you to become grumpier! 🙂

  6. truthseekerss says:

    wow who would have though we’d see the day you gave up blogging 🙂

  7. curm says:

    I have noticed I write best about things that piss me off. As a matter of fact I can’t even spell unless I’m mad, so being grumpy may not be a bad thing. Chill on the wine though.

  8. innocent1 says:

    Wow for a moment there I thought you were trying to suggest that I drink less wine. But then I realised I must be imagining things and that what you’re actually trying to say is that the wine must be well chilled before I drink it.

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