Posted: February 21, 2012 in Random
Tags: , , , ,

Please note parental guidance is advised. This post is not recommended for Amish people, those with overly sensitive dispositions, and anyone with allergies to nuts. I don’t have anything personal against Amish people per se. I guess I’m just jealous that I don’t get to wear a hat.


Joanna Froggat had been born with an affliction. Perhaps not glaringly so but kids can be cruel. Her surname had been the cause of much mirth among her peers in her formative years. Any man who kissed her may have been forgiven for thinking that she would turn into princess. Regrettably however they were soon to be proven wrong.


Archie contrary to popular belief was not a redhead. What he was however was devastatingly boring. He was blessed with the type of looks that made beige seem exciting in comparison. He was prone to licking his lips. It wasn’t because he was hungry but he had an appetite all the same.


They were poles apart and yet in many respects they were two sides of the same coin. It’s little wonder, and completely surprising then, that they made love every Friday afternoon at exactly 4pm and on Sunday nights would venture out together to pick up prostitutes. They never paid of course but that’s because the dead have no need of money.


The rain had been incessant. It had been a long dry summer and the farmers had prayed for rain. What they got in return for their faith, and sore knees, was a deluge. Their prays had been answered but in the most spiteful way. The rain drowned the crops but it was also remarkably efficient at drowning out her gurgled screams. Every cloud has a silver lining Archie thought to himself.


Archie stared at Joanna like he was inhaling her through every pore. He imagined her wearing nothing but her favourite pale blue panties. The thought made him hard. He remembered how last Friday he had kneeled over her and come all over her body. It wasn’t sex exactly. It was all about ownership. She was a second-hand car. He didn’t mind that she didn’t run properly, or the fact that there were a few screws missing, just as long as the body was good to look at.


Joanna winked at him. “What do you want to do with the luggage?” “Well as I’m not planning on travelling anytime soon I reckon we burn it”, Archie replied. “I like the sound of that. We could even toast some marshmallows.” Archie frowned, “Babe I don’t think the calories would be good for your figure.” “Fuck you”, she hissed! Eventually they kissed and made up but not before they built a bonfire and burned the bitch. Burnt flesh it is fair to say does not smell like chicken.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I like the pace…its racey in its own way. Like.

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