MEMORIES ARE A MINEFIELD

Posted: February 7, 2012 in Poems
Tags: , , , , ,

I wrote this piece a while ago but at this time it has taken on an added poignancy. It seems when we share in another’s heartache and grief it has a way of bringing to mind dark moments we ourselves may have experienced in the past. It allows us to be empathetic to the plight of another. While we may never truly understand what they are really going through, because each of us experiences loss in our own unique way, we can in our own small way extend our hand to them, even if it is only through our words, and tell them though they are lost in a world of hurt and desolation they are not alone. Like us they will find the strength to make it through. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day…

 

It’s amazing how we can rediscover little gems in our minds. Like a forgotten memory that has remained dormant for far too long. You and I walking in the zoo. The sun is shining, you are smiling at me like you always do, laughing breathlessly, as the wind catches your hair, and our fingers gently intertwine. My tenacious fingers are afraid to let this glimmer of the past go but I’m frightened to let it drift to the surface.

 

Because if I dwell on it too long I’ll remember the car crash. The night a part of me died even though I wasn’t there. Replaying it in my head over and over again with visuals that aren’t my own. You were ripped from my existence. Now there’s just a void. A silent place that is haunted by memories of your face. I’d scream your name a thousand times if I could save you but the past is done like a whisper lost in the wind. I wish I could dream you back into life but my imagination fails me when I need it the most.

 

Like an oak stump in the ground never making a sound. Never destined to see another spring and scarring the picturesque landscape forever. I’m broken beyond belief trapped under the weight of this grief. The pieces are all there but they no longer fit. You were the best part of me. The glue that held this fragile creature together and without you I’ve come undone. I’m walking in circles. Every step that I take takes me one step further and one step closer to you…

 

The raw emotions are cluttering up the cupboard

The dusty skeletons lay unearthed and forgotten in the closet

I’ve swept the regrets up from the floor

 

I’m dancing across the threshold of ambiguity

I’m disingenuous

Flustered by reality

 

The rain is falling all around

It tastes salty

As it quenches my thirst

 

I’m falling

But I’m looking up

Anything to stop staring at you

 

You’re shuddering

Invading my vision

Static on my television

 

You’re my drug-addled illusion

Stirring the pot of confusion

Colouring my delusions

 

Weary heads resting together

Next to each other

But actually truly apart

 

A stranger

That keeps me warm

Even though I’m torn

 

Broken beyond belief

Tragic self-inflicted grief

An emotional thief

 

I’m awake

I’m asleep

I’m done

That’s life

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Comments
  1. Lyka Ricks says:

    Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it~Ralph Waldo Emerson obtained from Thoughts Quotes

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