Posted: January 25, 2012 in Random
Tags: , , , ,

Now that I’ve been on WordPress for all of 5 days (That’s all your fingers on one hand which is a lot!) I think I speak for everyone when I say how thoroughly impressed I am with the quality and sheer joie de vivre of the blogs featured on WordPress Freshly Pressed.

Some of you may see this as brown nosing and a not so subtle attempt to be featured on Freshly Pressed myself. In that regard you would be absolutely right and I applaud you for being so astute. Obviously you were educated at Eton and ate all your veggies as a young child.

Regrettably however the more I perused the blogs on Freshly Pressed the more I began to realise they could string proper sentences together that actually make sense. In contrast I just randomly stick simple words together in the hopes I get my point across before I become too distracted. It’s fair to say that I have the attention span of a hyperactive six year old who has just snorted 10 packets of sugar.

The truth is whenever I discover that someone is better at something than I am, I instantly loathe them. How dare they make me think less of myself. As far as I am concerned I am awesome and smell like rose petals. Don’t even get me started on how dainty and cute my feet are.

Therefore it should come as little surprise that I find the featured blogs on Freshly Pressed utterly distasteful. I can’t stand show offs! It’s one thing to be talented but it’s another thing altogether to flaunt it. The only time showing off is truly justified is when I’m the one doing the showing off in question. I can do a handstand if that counts for anything. Okay that’s not strictly true. I used to be able to do a handstand when I was 10. Now when I even attempt to bend over, I whimper like a schoolgirl, and chastise myself for being so foolhardy.

Now that I think about it I am completely talent free. If it wasn’t for Freshly Pressed I would never have come to this realisation at all. So thanks to Freshly Pressed tonight I am going to cry myself to sleep and in all probability dream about Bear Grylls. Hey don’t judge me!

In my dream Bear is attacked by a swarm of bees and is hopelessly overwhelmed. Cue my entrance, looking resplendent in a long leather trench coat, my sparkling blonde hair fluttering in the warm summer breeze, and my fly swatter at the ready. The bees never stood a chance really. Needless to say Bear is monumentally grateful and swears he’ll never go outdoors again without proper adult supervision. Instead he will stay indoors and watch Discovery Channel like normal people.

  1. Saint says:

    hey how did you get your blog so nicely customised Innocent1? and HELLO!! I am also here on WP now. I’ll follow you.

  2. Sarchasm2 says:

    LOL Only once I got used to WP did I realise what a closed community we were/are. WP opens new horizons.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Well I am sure it won’t be long until you feature, however, do watch this space! 😉

  4. truthseekerss says:

    lmao!! oh but I am you just don’t realise it yet 😉

  5. truthseekerss says:

    oh sorry, lost some words there! ok enough now… before I look like I can’t type very well

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